Terrible Music Tattoos

If I got every tattoo I wanted to get, I’d be covered in nothing but Morrissey lyrics from head to toe. Either that, or every member of New Kids on the Block, because that was the age at which I thought it would be cool to get a band-themed tattoo. That was sixth grade.

Some people, though, who are fully grown adults, still want to pay homage to their favorite band or musician,. To be fair, there are good band and music tattoos, somewhere, just not here.

Tattoos are forever, friends. Pantera is not.

Behold, the horror!

2Pac, slightly charred.

2Pac

It’s like the artist got tired when he was halfway done and thought, “Pfff. It blends.”

AC/DC’s Angus Young

ACDC Angus Young

You know, if Angus Young were part potato.

Dave Matthews

Dave Matthews

You know, if Dave Matthews were black. Not black as in how we refer to skin color. No. Black as in “covered in charcoal” black.

Atreyu

Atreyu

Not only did this crappy band ruin one of the best children’s characters ever, now their fans are ruining tattoos as well.

Dave Grohl

Dave Grohl

Dave GrohlI’m fairly certain this person added Grohl’s name to the tattoo upon realizing no one would recognize this as Dave Grohl. Solid move.

Bono (Robin Williams?)

Bono

BonoFirst mistake: Getting a Bono tattoo. Second mistake: Going with 90s Bono instead of classic Bono. Those glasses will not age well.

Slayer Selfie

Slayer

I get that Slayer fans are known for cutting the band’s name into their own skin. It’s insane, but I get it. But if you’re going to do that, make sure your friend at least understands which direction “S”s go before he starts.

Phil Collins

Phil Collins

This one’s just creepy. Much like Phil Collins himself.

Nikki Sixx

Nikki Sixx

I’d always suspected the Mötley Crüe bassist was an evil leprechaun. Who hasn’t?!

Ozzy Osbourne

Ozzy Ozbourne rash

I know you’re going to say, “That a new tattoo! That’s why it’s all red and scabby and weird.” I would point out that the hair is already a little faded. Meaning this tattoo isn’t new, it’s just gross.

Axl Rose

Axl Rose

Meanwhile, in my Guns n’ Roses nightmares…

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson 1

Hahaaa, “He touched so many.” Indeed. And clearly this wasn’t meant to be an exact representation, but it becomes all the more hilarious when you see this:

Michael Jackson 2

Nailed it.

Vampire Kevin Richardson

Kevin Richardson BSB

Of ALL the Backstreet Boys. OF ALL OF THEM. You chose Kevin.

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus

It’s Miley Cyrus. But it’s also a chicken! It’s still a terrible tattoo, but at least it’s got some sass.

Michael Jackson and Macauly Culkin

Michael Jackson Macaulay Culkin

Classic Michael. Classic Culkin.

Hanson

Hanson

HansonThree good-looking guys, talented musicians, and survivors of the boy-band era, immortalized as…this.

The Biebs (that’s what people call him right? I’m old)

Justin Bieber 1

This one was obviously to memorialize him after he lost his left arm in that tragic Berlin monkey accident.

Justin Bieber 2

And this person is most likely a survivor of the dreaded “Bieber Fever” outbreak of 2011. I would argue it did more damage than the influenza pandemic of 1918.

Dimebag Darrell

Dimebag Darrell Pantera

Darrell Abbot’s death was tragic. This terrible, unfinished Pantera tattoo is even more so.

Drake

Drake 1

“Hey!” you say. “That’s fake! That’s so fake.”

 

Drake 2

No. No it’s not.

Part 2: Questionable Music Tattoos

Part 3: Awesome Music Tattoos

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