Free stuff from Tickemaster! But not free stuff you want.

Hey, remember that whole Ticketmaster fiasco from, like, 13 years ago? Yeah yeah, you remember…from The Washington Post:

In 2003, two men purchased tickets to a Wilco show and — like many people who buy tickets from Ticketmaster — were surprised and somewhat infuriated by the order and processing fees accompanying them, in particular with the fact that Ticketmaster did not disclose that it profited from the fees. Rather than head to the bar and complain to their friends, though, the two sued the company.

Those Wilco fans. Seriously. So hey, that’s finally been resolved, and it looks like some of us are in for some “money” from Ticketmaster. Basically, if you purchased a ticket between Oct. 21, 1999, and Feb. 27, 2013, you might be getting a refund in the form of a voucher or a small discount. So yay, right? Well, no. First of all, you have to check out your Ticketmaster account to see if you’re eligible (go to ticketmaster.com, log into your account, and check out the header for “Active Vouchers”). Second of all, you can only use the vouchers on certain shows. Which is great if you want to see a Bon Jovi tribute. Or a Tom Petty tribute. Or a Journey tribute. Or a Fleetwood Mac tribute.

Okay, okay, I’m making fun of Ticketmaster and Live Nation. They OBVIOUSLY produce more shows than just tributes. But the concerts you can use the vouchers are are fairly limited and sporadically located. Hey, do you live in the Live Music Capital of the World and want to see a show? Hahahahahahahaaaaa, yeah right. See you in Dallas.

Anyway, check your eligibility and then check out the list of shows (sortable only by city, and neither searchable nor saveable, naturally). If you’re like me, you’ll try to log in, discover that the email address on the account is the email address you acquired in the 4th grade (hotmail4eva!) and haven’t used in approximately 15 years (conservative estimate), and quickly determine a $2.50 discount from the evil giant at a venue 400 miles away is not worth it. Not. At. All.

But thanks for the effort, Justice System!

And now for funny tweets about Ticketmaster:

Oh, Ticketmaster.